Have you ever read How To Win Friends And Influence People? If you did, you probably know that there are ways to deal with people that will make make both you and the person you’re dealing with mutually satisfied and happy? I read it years ago during my first year in college. At that time, I was just out of high school and not really ready for the messages in the book. I just wanted to get a good grade and move on.
Recently, I had another go at the book but this time with a different pair of eyes and a different motivation. What I’ve found is that How To Win Friends and Influence People is a handbook on how to deal with people. The author, Dale Carnegie, gives numerous insights on this subject by way of his own personal experiences and those of his many students on various situations they found themselves in. He uses these experiences to illustrate how he handled the situations in ways that produced the best outcomes for both parties involved. In all cases, everyone who implemented his strategies were able to win friends as well as influence people.
For this post, I am going to share some of Carnegie’s best quotes from the book.
Quotes From How To Win Friends And Influence People
Carnegie called his book, the Only Book You Need to Lead You to Success. As you read it, you’ll begin to see how small changes in attitude, ways of thinking and ways of interacting with people can lead to more successful relationships with people.
Here are some quotes from How To Win Friends and Influence People with some of my thoughts about each.
“Don’t be afraid of enemies who attack you. Be afraid of the friends who flatter you.” What a powerful quote! Carnegie warns us that those who we think would naturally be against us are not as menacing as those who appear to be our friends.
He says that some people will flatter you. They will say wonderful things about you, your work, your goals in life. However, hidden behind all the niceties and flattery is a person who does not wish you well. In fact, that person may well want to see you fall or fail. When people have no goals or aspirations of their own, they secretly harbor ill-feelings generated by their jealousy. These people will do you no good. Keep an eye on your enemies but keep a closer eye on those who proclaim to be your friend.
“You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.” How true this is! One thing people like is when others take an interest in them, what they do and what’s going on in their lives. If you put them first rather than monopolize any and all conversations about you, they will become your friend very quickly and you’ll get the benefits of whatever this friendship has to offer.
“Any fool can criticize, complain, and condemn—and most fools do. But it takes character and self-control to be understanding and forgiving.” He’s right! If you listen to random conversations or just things that people say in passing, you’ll be surprised at how often people will comment negatively about others. Whether it’s the way they talk, walk, how they dress or how they react in certain situations – anything is up for criticism for most people.
Carnegie instructs us in how to be more understanding of others, hear their side of things and even if we aren’t in the position to hear, we can just know that everyone is going through their own situation that may make them do or be a certain way. It just takes a little self-control not participate in the criticizing and condemning and be not judgemental.
“Everybody in the world is seeking happiness—and there is one sure way to find it. That is by controlling your thoughts. Happiness doesn’t depend on outward conditions. It depends on inner conditions.” I think we all pretty much can agree that your thoughts become your reality. If you are always thinking negative thoughts, that’s what you will attract. Think positive thoughts and so it will be. If you want happiness, you have to begin by being grateful and happy for what you have. So many people would die for what you think is so little. So think in terms of abundance, not lack and be grateful.
“Personally I am very fond of strawberries and cream, but I have found that for some strange reason, fish prefer worms. So when I went fishing, I didn’t think about what I wanted. I thought about what they wanted. I didn’t bait the hook with strawberries and cream. Rather, I dangled a worm or grasshopper in front of the fish and said: “Wouldn’t you like to have that?”Why not use the same common sense when fishing for people?”
What a clever way to say that you give people what they want. It’s not ever about you but only about the other person. In business, you wouldn’t tell people why you need them to buy your product or join your company. Instead, you would clearly explain the benefits of your product. Make it clear how what you have can solve their problem or ease their pain. Give people what they need, not what you want.
“Names are the sweetest and most important sound in any language.” When you call people by name, you make them feel important. People are proud of their name and when you remember a person’s name and use it, it can open up great opportunities both in your personal life as well as your business.
“Action springs out of what we fundamentally desire.” When a person decides upon his “why”, it is the thing that will get him/her swiftly moving into action. We all have wants and needs but it is ultimately up to us how much we want those things and what we are willing to do to attain them.
“Most people trying to win others to their way of thinking do too much talking themselves. Let the other people talk themselves out. They know more about their business and problems than you do. So ask them questions. Let them tell you a few things.” An important point to remember, especially when dealing with prospects. Keep your talking to a minimum and let the prospect talk. You can ask guiding questions that will get him/her on the track you want but in order to find out about them and what they need, you have to step back and give them the stage.
“Winning friends begins with friendliness.” You can’t expect to win friends if you’re not friendly yourself. How many times have you seen someone with a scowl on their face? Maybe you approached someone and they were curt and uninterested. In both cases, there was no opportunity to connect and make a friend. If you happened to be that person or are that person, remember to present yourself in a different light. You want to draw positive people to you so you have to be positive and friendly.
Those are just a few of the many quotes from How To Win Friends And Influence People. If you ever get a chance to read it, it will help you with your everyday dealings with people.
I hope you enjoyed reading this and found value. If so, kindly leave a comment below and share on Facebook. Thank You!
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